Sometimes

Sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night with a start and i roll over and see his face and wonder how the hell i got so lucky. i wonder how i got her. How i went from the girl that had a long string of shitty relationships for years. i am so lucky....

However i show up to work and and i love my job, but the people there treat me like shit. Well not technically they act "nice" but that fake kind of nice where they are nice to me then act like a bitch behind my back. making remarks i think the thing that pisses me off the most is fine you wanna pretend to like me because we work together. yet, you walk three feet away and make bitchy comments in front of patients. So god damn unprofessional.

Ugh how could my life be so awesome and fucking horrible at the same time.


"Awkward moments define me. I'd sleep all day if I could. I lack the capability to keep my mouth closed.
Yeah, everyone has bad days, I just have more frequent ones.
If you don't like me, don't act like you do; it really won't offend me.
I've made mistakes, I've let people take advantage of me, and I have accepted way less than I deserve."

Those moments.

You know when you are going along in your life all happy, and if not hapy then just content. Then all of a sudden a song comes on the radio, but not just any song, their song. You know how when you are in love with someone, and you can find that one song that just fits exactly how you feel. That song that is basically your heart on a platter. and up until that point you were not happy with things ending, but you were ok with it. You are ok with the fact that you are not together and you are not meant to be.
Then that stupid song comes on the radio, and in a spilt sec you are thrown right back in the middle of it. Like you remember exactly how thing were and exactly how many nights you spent crying and exactly how it felt to be uncortrollably in love with them. Its like someone just cut you back open and threw salt on your wounds, and the song ends and you are stuck with that feeling, for a good while after.

Well yeah....I fucking hate those moments.

"I don't remember who met who first, or who fell in love with who first. All I remember is the seven of us always together. "


This is always how i felt about my group of four friends. but the time has come when ...we are not friends anymore. WE have either slowly drifted apart or have cut all ties. I used to feel like i was apart of soemthing so much bigger that no matter what happens i had these three people that i was connected to .........but now that connection is gone.



Kirby: I always thought we'd be friends forever.
Kevin: Yeah, well forever got a lot shorter all of a sudden.

It's kinda funny that the one person that fought so hard to make me have faith in people would soon there after turn my life upside down and hurt me so badly...yet he made me gain faith in people and more importantly he made me gain faith in myself. in who i am becoming and where i have been.


this growing up thing is hard.....but it sure is fun.

Your kiss

Your kiss moved my world...it made it all ..fit.

Now what?

do we pretend that it never happened like when you kissed me it felt like everything was ...right.
Like eventually i could be happy and not have to try so hard to be happy.


i love you, i just figured it out.....why won't you love me back

Have you ever thought about ?

How many times you have seen a friend for the last and not realized that it was the last time. you never get to say good bye to them. You never get closer. one day you think of them and realize that you will never see them again. Maybe they live in a different state then you maybe you don't have there number anymore, maybe it's just been to long. So many missed moments. However at the same time do you think you would want to know this, you would constantly be saying goodbye.

They got married

THEY GOT MARRIED.
i can't believe they actually went through with it.

i can't believe it didn't fall apart.