Fight for me

Fight for me ...please.

So sick

I AM SO SICK OF YOU MAKING YOURSELF THE VICTIM.
YOU ARE NOT THE VICTIM.

YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF THE DRAMA.


you chose chose to not be a part of my life so get fucking used to ti. i was nice to you even after i heard all the things you said about me.


you are a horrible person. that is plain and simple. and i am so sick of you being a part of my life. i cut you out of it so stay out of it

Hospital gowns are very stylish

That's a lie they are so not, and they are very breezy in the back to...slightly awkward. Just as awkward as say sitting next a cute guy in the e.r. and then your dad showing up and talking about you going the bathroom. Fun times at Brockton hospital! Now i am trying to get a hold of the doctor i have to go to and they are not seeing people until like 2 weeks from now. To moral of the story ....fuck my life. I am just tired and sick. I am gonna go back to bed.

mutual addiction

I sat down today like i eventually always do and decide what i want. This was prompted by my ex boyfriend dumping his girlfriend less then 24 hours after i told him that he had a girl friend and i wouldn't do anything with him.

And i found this quote and i decide that i just want someone that wants me that cares enough to call and that wants to have those dumb convos with me. i want someone that i don;t feel like i am bothering when i call them. I want someone to cuddle with.....someone to love and love me back



What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.
( Chuck Palahniuk )

So I start a fight cause I need to feel something And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted

Meredith: It’s over. You can all go home now. It’s over. So over.

I was wrong to hope, i should have known that hoping was a bad idea. when you have hope then 9 out of ten times it gets crushed. I hoped we would work it out i hoped winter would come around and he would miss me. I don't even know why i hoped for it because we were so friggen' dysfunctional together. Maybe its because life is dysfunctional and i liked what we had in the beginning it was cute and friendly. But who am i kidding....we were never more then friends who tried to pretend there was a spark. However, there wasn't there was no spark there was empty kisses and at the end we were just on the way to hating each other we couldn't even stand talking to each other. But i am saying goodbye....make her happy.

L-o-v-e's just another word I never learned to pronounce

i have been really happy recently. i feel like i am finally reaching that point where i can accept the bad things but not dwell over them. To be completely honest i am happy but a little lonely. Have you ever noticed that sometimes even you don't exactly know what you are feeling. But then you realize you have been listening to songs about ________(insert feeling here). Music is like therapy it helps you realize whats really going on in your heart. I just don't want to fell alone. It's kinda like when you see a beautiful sunset and you look beside you expecting someone to be there, yet there isn't so no one will know how beautiful it was. My life is like that i want to share it with someone.

She wanted something else, something different, something more.. Passion and romance, perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms or perhaps something as simple as not being second..

Romance???

I have been thinking. That romance is not what we think it is. It is not that cookie cutter romance, the fairy tails or the cinematic moments. Real life romance is different. It the fact that he asks for your birthday off to spend it with you. Its not that he spends all his time telling you that you are beautiful its that you know thats what he think when he looks at you because you can see it in his eyes. Its not that you are "perfect" for each other its the fact that you enable him to do dumb things.It when you tell him he is being a pain in the ass and he tells you when you are being dumb. It's that despite you tell each other these things neither of you are really hurt by them. Its the fact that he was willing to spend the day with your friends and hold your hand all day. Its that when he decides that he wants to jump of the giant stream at the mini golf place, you are the one that he wants to watch.

I think really romance is the little things. That you are willing to just listen what he has to say or share your drink. Thats real romance not the cinematic moment that we all think about.

At the end of the day, I only want you

Its the first time in a really long time i have just been happy. he makes me so happy. I went to visit him at work today. And he knew i was coming, well not really but he could guess. I walked up and waited for him to notice i was there and he looked up and got a huge grin on his face and his eyes lite up. I waited for him to get out of work. It was so cute, he was so excited to tell me that he actually got my birthday off. I just love seeing him. Literally i leave him and miss him already.


i went to my favorite place tonight. the beach at night. you know that place....were the rest of the world just doesn't exists anymore. Were you mind goes quite for the first time in forever and you just listen to the sounds around you. That place that just puts you at peace.
well the beach at night is that place for me

a well wisher with the worst intentions

SO i doubt anyone will ever care enough to read this but i made this blog because i want a place that i can write my inner thoughts and turmoils. I had a live journal once but it got to the point were my friends knew about it and they would read it to see why i was upset which i get. but sometime you just want to not tell them certain things. So this is me i have only been in love once and half i guess and no one has ever loved me idk my life is chaotic but i love it kinda